Seriously? He can't really be THAT big!

How on earth could it only take 14 months to go from baby-in-my-belly to making friends on the playground (actually, he just ran over to him yelling with his arms over his head in a "touchdown" motion and somehow the other kid miraculously understood) who have a football and then throwing it back and forth with them?

Too fast. This is all moving too fast.

etsy shop

You may not have noticed, but my etsy shop is currently on vacation mode. I'm not sure when I'll be back (hopefully not too long).

I've been told by friends that I don't owe anyone an explanation, but- eh- here are my reasons:

1. We are going to put the house on the market soon so the "sewing room" has been packed up and is now the "play room"- which is amazing by the way. To go from toys all over the den and the kitchen and oh, every other room in the house, to all toys in one room is AMAZING. It's also so fun to watch Noah explore a whole room without restrictions. He loves it!

2. I was so tired. My shop doesn't have a history of being uber successful, but you may remember that for Halloween I got very into applique and put up a few new things in the shop. These little witch shirts sold like hotcakes (you know, if hotcakes took you an hour to make from start to finish). I was finding myself sewing everytime Noah was asleep- nap time? SEW. Night time? SEW!

Most nights, 2am looked like this:

... and while I'm extremely grateful for the buisness and all the awesome moms who bought their kids such fun things, it was stressing me out. All that coupled with the pregnancy and subsequent issues with the pregnancy left me feeling exhausted. So I'm taking a break. I'm still making things locally for friends and friends of friends, but it's nice to sit around with my husband at night and watch tv shows that you wouldn't normally give a second glance to, but now I'm sucked in for life.

Ah, that's the life.

The one where Laura pimps out Shutterfly.

I'm sure I don't have to explain to anyone what Shutterfly is, but I want to talk about them a little today (selfishly). I love sending photo cards (LOVE!) for Christmas and for all of our married Christmases I will admit I have been a bit ridiculous. I mean, I'm sure that no one really studies the cards that I send out (and I'm well aware that they hit the bottom of the trash can on December 26 each year), but I spend a TON of time picking out the pictures and deciding which layout to go with (usually the one with the most picture spots on it!) - it's a little 4"x8" yearbook of all the cool stuff we've done that year!

The first year we were married, we did a Shutterfly card that had a collage of a wedding picture, a pic of Molly and Rufio and a random really cute shot of Joe and I at the Salty Dog Cafe in Hilton Head:

Last year, I was a bit preoccupied (hello, newborn baby!), so we did a simple, one-photo card with a pic of my little puddin' pop under the Christmas tree:

(umm holy crap. Look how tiny he was! *squish!*)

I have no idea what we'll use this year, but I do know that we will be using Shutterfly cards and thanks to their awesome customer service and suppot of bloggers, it will be on the cheap! Check out how they are making it easy for bloggers to get a great deal on Christmas cards!

wordless wednesday

I know I'm supposed to "Respect the Turkey"

... but I'm already thinking about Christmas.

I've been knitting a lace scarf for my Grandmama's Christmas gift on and off for about 4 months now. That's an old pic- I've gotten about 14" of it done so far... we'll see if it actually gets finished by Christmas.

I also started piecing a fun Christmas quilt yesterday using these cute fabrics: AND this week I am going to attempt to make a copycat of this Starbucks wreath: (don't worry, I won't hang it yet! I wait until the day after Thanksgiving, thankyouverymuch.)

Now, if we really want a good laugh and more proof that I'm an 80 year old trapped in a 25 year old's body, we can talk about my actual wish list for Christmas, which includes:

Elizabeth Hartmans' new book:

... an Accuquilt GO! Cutter (seriously? I'm drooling a little!): ... and cleaning ladies.

Seriously, I suck at cleaning.
There's absolutely no excuse for it.
There are just a thousand other things I'd rather do than scrub a toilet.

I am also SUPER stoked to have crossed the 3 hardest people to shop for off of my Christmas gift list: Joe (who may read this so I'm not risking telling what it is) and my parents (who can barely check their email, so I'm comfortable telling you we paid the sitting fee for a photo shoot of them, us and my 3 brothers with the wonderful Samantha McLaughlin of Reflections Captured Photography! I am so stoked- we haven't had family pictures taken since I was in HIGH SCHOOL!)

It feels nice to know that at least a few gifts are already taken care of. I think I already feel a smidgen more relaxed about the whole holiday season- and isn't that the point?

the post no one wants to write.

We lost our baby.

I had more bleeding (I had a good bit of spotting with this pregnancy) and went back for a 3rd ultrasound and internal check. The ultrasound tech told me what I could see for myself- "I'm sorry, sweetie. There's no heartbeat." and then "... it's only measuring about eight and a half weeks." when I was about 12 weeks along.

This whole pregnancy felt different. I told a friend just Thursday that I just didn't feel pregnant. Every time I've gone in with bleeding, the ultrasound tech has only said "there's your baby, there's it's heartbeat" with no explanation of the bleeding- which never really reassured me. The baby was measuring 2 weeks behind as of week 8, and that also always stayed in the back of my mind despite reassurance from the doctor to "be optimistic- you probably just have your dates off." I told my mom just the other day that I was so tired of this in-between. I either want to know everything's ok, or that it's over.

.... and now I know it's over.

While I am incredibly sad and yesterday was absolutely terrible, I am surprised at how quick and easy the D&E has been for me. My doctor is a close family friend whose wife went through this after their first child (they went on to have 4 more) and he was extremely kind and sympathetic. He quickly called over to the hospital and told me that we would have this all taken care of as quickly as possible. Thankfully, my mom got Noah immediately after we left the doctor yesterday morning and between her and Joe's parents, he was well taken care of until about 5pm today when he came home. Also, a great friend who is also a nurse at the hospital was there for me and Joe through the entire surgery, which helped put me at ease, as this is the first time I've ever been under anesthesia (I won't lie, I was terrified). My wonderful friends from church have brought meals for the past two nights and will continue for the next couple nights (which, by the way Jessica, is totally appreciated and above and beyond anything I expected) and I have been covered in prayer since the moment all of this started. I have had minimal pain and I have an amazing husband who has been so strong and taken such good care of me for the past 48 hours.

I also know that my Lord knows what's best for me. I am certain that God's plan for my life is better than anything that I could ever possibly imagine and this just has to be a part of it.

my little blockhead

I hope everyone had a fun and safe weekend!